No Idea – Blog Virgin

Not sure what I am doing? All I know is I have a brain full of noise and thoughts and crazies and stuff and no where to off load. I have been told to write, I have been told I am funny, I have been told I am honest. Slight flaw to the master plan, I am not so great at the English Language. I have friends awesome at English and I am so very sure they will cringe at this, don’t cringe just correct and mold me into something better,  please…

I have written a kids book, I like it, my friends and family like it, but does that mean its good? Has this Brit residing in the USA, finally been sucked in to the American dream notion. I have a grand idea to see my book printed, illustrated and on Amazon. Although it doesn’t necessarily mean some person will buy my damn dream. So lets see. First place to start they say is”with a blog”

  1. Start a Blog – CHECK
  2. Now I need to actually say something cool and witty and life changing, OK my middle child calls cradle cap – cradle crap – that is kinda hysterical! NO? I am also very poor at grammar, so please correct me and give me advice.
  3. I now have to force people to read my ramblings, gulp I’m not so sure I will be good at that either. I can hear it now ” Hey I’m one of those self pretentious knobs who thinks they are so funny and smart and I have written a blog, you totally should read it, because I am so fucking funny”, oh shit yeah and I swear A LOT. Is that a blog NO NO?
  4. OK what happens next – I actually have no idea – I just want my book in Amazon and the British Library 🙂 (I also love emoticons, so mid Noughties)

Who am I?

  • I am a 40-year-old (alarm bells, midlife crisis) mother of three boys under 8 (and I am losing all sense of sanity)
  • I sometimes work as a buyer for Trek Bikes.
  • We live in the Sunshine State, where sweating is essential for survival.
  • I am a recovered Anorexic (ages 10-30 years)
  • Currently I am an anxiety suffer, where on bad days I actually think the world may end any second or my heart will stop, so prescription drugs, exercise and sleep are my best friends. – But I am really the sanest person I know, I am not kidding.
  • I love to dance in the supermarket with my kids and run really fast then jump onto the cart and whizz as fast as we can to the car and I love to sing out loud, but weirdly big groups over 6 are my own personal nightmare, I am a raging extroverted introvert.
  • I really like Giraffes, Manatees, Owls, Fantasy/Science Fiction novels, Art Deco and pineapple ornaments.
  • My favourite foods are spinach and ice cream – not together
  • On a good day people think I look like Cameron Diaz.
  • I am a kind and honest person and now at 40 I realise that being me is OK.

So first step to literary stardom – start a blog – CHECK


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