So today is kindergarten roundup… A day when this slummy mummy has to wear ironed, pretty clothes and mascara oh and I brushed my hair… middle kid is clean and ready for his big morning..

To leave the house the following occurs in the space of 1 teeny tiny hour. Blocked toilet by middle kid, rubber gloves employed and head down the bog (mouth vomit) . Mr toddler  turns on outside hose and decides to lay in the mud puddle it creates (I blame Peppa Pig) … quick change and clean up… 

Then as we are walking out the door both beastly boys rock up, covered in chalk dust … sigh and another clothing change. At last we are loaded up in the car , to screams and fights …Once at school the little guy makes multiple breaks for the stage throughout the presentation and I have to pelt after him, now looking bed raggled and not quite the well put together ish mother of 3 I was earlier, as I hog carry him squealing under my arm, back to our seats .. Well I tried .

In short , kids are given to us as a wild bundle of all the crazy, annoying and sass we gave our parents, but deceivingly packaged as cute, loveable human being … 

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