I may be a little pissed off? A sore loser, disappointed, completely fucked off. UM Yes I am.
However in my defense, the Boston Marathon has consumed my life for far too many hours. Lets start with the months of intense and early morning training runs, trying to fit it in around, my also demanding parent life and working life. Now layer on the injuries and recovery hours, the actual marathon run, the travel there, the wait to apply, the wait to find out.
Then we have the COST. Sneakers x 2 – $320, hotel room, $60 (shared), qualifying marathon fee $100+ the flights to get to qualifying marathon $160, car rental – $40 (shared) Food $80+ Oh and I could add the cost of rehabilitating the injuries ($500)
NOTE – Some of my friends had run 3 marathons to get their qualifying time.
TO GET THEIR QUALIFYING TIME… Q U A L I F Y I N G…..
From the dictionary
To qualify – be entitled to a particular benefit or privilege by fulfilling a necessary condition.
ohhhh did you see that word – yes “entitled” that means – give (someone) a legal right or a just claim to receive or do something.
Now lets get in to the numbers and the math
Female ages – 40-44 qualifying times for 2019
3 hrs 45 minutes
Female ages – 40-44 qualifying times in 2020
3 hrs 40 mins (note they have dropped it by a full 5 mins)
My qualifying time (there is that word again)
3 hrs 38 mins and 32 secs
So if we add that all up I am 6 minutes and 28 secs under 2019 s time and 1 minute 28 secs under 2020s time.
So looking at that I nailed it? I get to apply, YES! and then I wait, I wait and I wait some more, oh and then I wait a little longer. A whole mind crushing, nerve splintering 9 days later, I receive my ” non acceptance” email. WTF. Thanks B.A.A for a much needed boost to my P.T.S.D.
I am meant to be OK with that?
But I ran a qualifying time? Maybe lots of 40-44 year old women ran a qualifying time, but it is a qualifying time, not a right a to apply time. NO? Who changed the goal posts all of a sudden?
So, I ask you? How does a single marathon make the simple act of running so hard? Expensive, elitist, stressful and I got sucked in, like an idiot, to Boston unicorn myth. Note – no one has ever seen that elusive unicorn, I’m just sayin!?!?! It is a myth, it is a hilly, temperamental, point to point race. In a city that is not as beautiful as London or as majestic as NYC. It is a tough and gritty race, but all marathons are tough and gritty. Who decided to go ahead and make Boston king? Yes it is old, the first, but old does not always mean all that I am better than you bull shit.
This is not why I run! I run to see how hard I can push my body, how fast it can go, to relax, decompress, to flow, to hit that zen when everything is perfect, mind and body completely in sync and the world goes quiet. I run a race to push harder, to meet like minded people and to have fun.
The Boston marathon has crushed me and I never even had the chance to run it. I did indeed qualify.
I think my heart broke when I realized that they lied and good, was not really good enough and was never going to be.
I will run another marathon and I will get faster, I will do a sub 3 hr 30 min and try to keep getting faster, I will crush that Boston qualifying time and I will NEVER EVER apply for Boston again.