In a world where it seems you have to take sides, belong to a tribe, a group thought, a for or against, a religion, a party, I am forever residing in middle earth. As the Hobbit of this tale munching on food and watching the world spin around me, I have always liked to observe and ruminate before I form an opinion.
Where to attack, is a go to for most of humankind, we may need to remove “kind”, as I see little kindness these days. This makes it very difficult for a person to form a clear cut thought, or opinion on a subject or theme. Therefore, I have quickly realized that, rather than to openly express how I really feel, I instead absorb what is around me. All the forced opinions and passionate monologues, spouted in my direction, I murmur ahem and banally nod my head in time to their pounding rhythm. I like to listen and I like to learn and then I keep my ideology deep inside.
I mean what is the point, my opinion does not matter to the bullheaded dictator next to me, spouting off their hatred for all who do not conform to their ideas. I do not need or want a fight, my thought will not change the world unless I act on it or join a cause to push my point, I will not protest and therefore I will not make huge changes. I cannot vote here, I do not belong to or want to join a church, shit I am going to hell any way. I will not air a voice to Black Lives Matter, because to be honest, no matter how you try to articulate a thought, someone will call you racist or sitting in white privilege, and that will usually be from someone who is white and with privileges’. Just because you have not read the latest white formulated memo on what words are right or wrong. In short NO ONES life should be decided for them and especially not because they do not have white skin. A simplistic thought for a now complex problem in this country.
It is exhausting taking a side, it should never be about sides, we should work as a collective, a central body to do what is right, to not be cruel, to help those in need, to respect each others religions, cultures and political stance. We need to save the world, to not destroy what it gives us, we need to sustain life. We must stop fighting or demeaning others, screaming and shouting gets you bloody no where. No one is listening to you, because, they are too busy hollering back, that you are wrong.
I have realized, that from a young age, I avoided conflict by keeping quiet. Now, I will do this in my silent way, I will guide my three boys to be decent humans, to know that all people are the same inside, that we are one species, with different skills and super powers. It does not matter who you love, as long as you give and therefore will receive love. Skin color is irrelevant, religion is irrelevant, sex is irrelevant, your soul is, how you treat others does unequivocally matter. We are one goddam species, we all have 2 arms, 2 legs, a body, 2 eyes, a brain and a heart. etc etc. We all feel, we all need love, we hurt, we all want to be happy, we all need basic essentials, food, a home. And there is no yes or no to that, it is a given, no opinion needed.
But if you want a stance from my neutral, no outward conflict persona, then here they are. I am a true middler.
My silent opinions
I am agnostic. But I understand a persons need to be religious.
I am a Democrat, but can see why you may be Republican.
I am female and I am EQUAL to and like men.
I am white, but THAT does NOT make me BETTER than any other skin color.
I have privilege and I am not ashamed, but I hope one day we will all get this start. EVERY HUMAN DESERVES a good start in life.
I am heterosexual, but I have never discovered if I am bisexual or fluid- WE ALL DESERVE to GIVE and RECEIVE LOVE however we want.
I am an environmentalist – I believe we are destroying the planet.
I believe in science. But, I also believe in the mystical.
I am and my kids are fully vaccinated. Only because disease and death scares me more than a chemical in my body.
War is never necessary. Lets make love and be a cliché.
Guns will not make you safe. But are necessary if you are hungry and do not live next to a supermarket.
That is me – I am not as passionate as others, or educated enough in areas to drive points home, but I can listen and love and feel. I will always shut my mouth, open my ears and nod my head accordingly, that does not mean I agree, it means a I respect your opinion and I do not need to shout.