Dreaming of a Sunday ?!?

AHHH my day today.. Sundays, a day of rest and relaxation. Supping coffee in a comfy chair with the sun dappling across the morning papers. Birds chirping in the trees as you do your Sunday meditation and yoga in complete silence. Maybe some lazy Sunday copulating with your significant other and a delicious,home cooked meal with a delightful glass of wine…

UM NO FUCKING WAY …. My day… I was woken up at 6am by a naked toddler, playing with his penis, demanding breakfast and shouting “I am HUNGRRRYYYYY”. coffee, was heated from the day before whilst I shovel my breakfast down to the 7 am whine, ” What do you mean no TV, man that sucks, and I’m so bored, this house is soooo boring”. My reply ” well best you go and find something to do”. While I put on 3 million loads of washing and clean the kitchen, make lunches for tomorrow and clear up the 6.30 am painting session you all decided to indulge in.

Then I have to put on my Sergeant Major hat, to conduct peace talks at least 20 times between a 9 and 6 year old as they repeatedly re enact “The Lord of The Flies”, ” other wise I may be watching “Armageddon” or “Fight Club”

Later I cringe under the back handed “you suck’ comments at our Sunday basketball, because I did not bring the right water bottle and I use all my strength and yoga will power to swallow down the wrath of mama building up inside. Instead I weep the whole way home in the car and march them to bed. As they apologise profusely and are heart broken that they have broken my heart by their inappropriate behaviour and rudeness to myself and our hostess….

Now I sit here with the much needed “that glass of wine” Ahhh at least something rang true to the ideology of the perfect Sunday.


My hurricane virginity was popped by the goddess of war, Irma. She (sorry to my husband , He told me she was an “IT”) . But sod that, she was all female, she was strong, forceful, relentless, stubborn, temperamental and unforgiving. All the things a mother would be protecting her children, her babies. Fighting for her child, Earth . Ripping apart pestilence and reminding us mere humans, to not fuck with our planet, as she can rip us limb from limb in a heartbeat.

I officially have not experienced pure fear, before Irma, where I was so terrified for the safety and lives of my children, where the choices I made, would impact their lives directly and one false move by me as a parent, could damage them beyond repair. I was confused, disorientated, I wanted to vomit and shake and  curl in to the fetus position and only to uncurl when this was all over.

I actually blame most of this on the extensive and at times scare mongering media, the inundation of good will opinions of people not living here or who decided to evacuate early. It was a barrage of leave, get out, sending article after article, of things I had already read from the local News I was following. It just increased the panic 10 fold and each time I said thank you and each time I secretly wanted to just say please fuck off and enjoy your safe place and leave me to prepare. I know they were being kind, but man it was time consuming and mentally tiring.

And prepare we did, generator, gas, food, water, safe place, securing the house, washing all our clothes, shutting everything down, packing valuables and documents in ziplock bags, filling the freezer with zip lock bags of water, packing torches, batteries, sleeping bags, kid essentials, money… it was immense, scary, and overwhelming. 

Why did we stay? So many reasons, first  she was hitting the east coast and then switched, my husband is Chief Operations Officer for his company and needs to keep the office informed, secured and then operating again, we did not want to leave our home, we did not know how long it would be before we could get back home if we left, we wanted to be able to stay and help others in need, we did not want to get stuck on the I75 with no gas. There were so many factors and it was a heart wrenching and much debated decision, especially as we have 3 small boys.  

Decisions to stay or go are very personal and should never be frowned upon, I totally know why people left, she was a cat 5 Bitch called Irma, but it was amazing to experience her and to be reminded how fucking insignificant we really are.

Yes the aftermath is tiring and hot and it sucks, but we are able to work on our poor battered home and so  many people have been immensely kind. People out the blue, texting and offering help, AC, showers, washing, meals and a hug.

It’s been a wild ride, one we are still on as a family and one that has taught us so much already. And if you asked me if I would stay again, the answer would be yes. 

I’m that damn crazy 😄❤️

Spider Beach 

Watching me at the beach with my boys, is like watching a spider on copious amounts of amphetamines and lunging for flies at super sonic speed to banging happy hardcore.. 

Every time as we leave any beach, covered in sand. Plus I’m chasing the toddler as he lunges for the ocean again whilst I am carrying all the gear like an untrained Sherpa. Plus I’m dragging, sweating , half naked,  a fully loaded stroller through the sand. Always some lovely person will say “Enjoy them while you can!” or “Wow that looks like hard work” or “You are amazing with three boys, they are hard work”! (Yes I fucking know that Sherlock)

Holy shit, where is the “Can I help you to carry something,” that’s all I want to hear or “Hey sit down, I’ll shower and dress the kids, get them in the car and buckle them in for you and hey here is 10$, go get a margarita!” Where is THAT person on the beach?